If you’re like most guys, you’ve probably asked yourself this question many times already
“Why does it seem that Online Dating works well for other men, but never for myself no matter what I do?“
Well, first off…
The competition in Online Dating is huge and it’s not going to decrease anytime soon.
Nowadays in 2024 about 20% of the users of the most popular dating apps are women, while 80% are men.
To every woman, there are at least 3 men. To every slightly attractive woman, there are at least 10 men. To every beautiful, jaw-droppingly gorgeous, stunning woman (the kind of woman you probably want to meet), there are at least 30 men.
Conversely, this means that the top 20% of men are getting 80% of the women. And the bottom 80% of men compete for the bottom 20% of women on dating apps.
Now imagine you want to build a house…
First you would need the foundation, but that’s not enough.
You also need walls, windows, doors, a rooftop and furniture.
If we translate this into the language of Online Dating:
The profile is your foundation, the mindset, textgame and date/in person behavior are your walls, windows, doors and the rooftop to complete the house.
If you only had the foundation or the rooftop, it would be impossible to build a house therefore all the other different pieces are equally as important.
Below you can find an example of how a successful conversation can go on Dating apps like Tinder.
We split a bottle of wine at mine on our first date and ended up casually dating for a while, until eventually she met someone else as she wanted something more serious but it didn’t fit into my life at the moment.
However that’s fine, because it’s part of the whole thing if you want to stay single.
So let’s start, shall we?
She sends the first message giving me a compliment for something in my bio, which is the power of an amazing profile.
But don’t get me wrong, in most cases you still have to send the first message which is your job as a man.
And once you do you need to ensure that it’s personalized if you want to maximize your chances of getting a reply back. No woman wants to be the 20th you sent that copy paste message to today.
I send a GIF related to her message and give her a compliment back rewarding her positive attitude.
We flow back and forth, she keeps being compliant and positive so I’m just being playful having fun with the conversation.
I stay on the “doggie“ topic which is quite ambiguous and then steer the conversation in an even more “sexual“ direction on purpose, to test the waters. Could’ve said anything when she asked what my superpowers are.
I start speaking about the topic of a date and plant the idea in her head. When I try to bait her into asking what exactly I have planned for our date she lowers her investment and only sends one emoji therefore shows less compliance.
When a woman “breaks rapport“ (i.e gives you a one word reply or just sends one emoji) that puts you in a negative spot, before continuing with your own investment you need to recreate the status quo. That means you need to show her that you are a man with self respect who doesn’t chase and “punish“ bad behaviour in a playful, teasing way.
I stay persistent and send her a cheeky message. She replies in a sassy yet flirtatious way which I view as an opportunity to reward her with approval, my number and instructions.
Personally I love to make use of everything I have at my disposal on dating apps. For Tinder that’s GIFs, for Bumble and Hinge that’s GiFs and voice messages.
I can’t tell you how much of a fun and flirty vibe GiFs can add to a conversation and voice messages are always good to create that very necessary trust. If you got a deep, masculine voice women will also give you compliments for it.
Also as you can see she’s bringing up things from my profile like a pro, that is usually what you should do in conversations and what women do if your profile is filled with baits, CTA’s (Call to actions) or other interesting things that make her curious.
Learning how to have successfull conversations with women and understanding frames is a very important skill if you want to get great results in Online Dating.
That’s why in our program I’ve created flowcharts that show you step by step what to do at each point of a conversation. For every line there are usually 2-3 possible replies women give and we have perfect lines for each one of those replies.
This pattern continues up until the date has been scheduled. Those flowcharts will literally be your training wheels and guideline until you internalize the principles behind texting.
Fun fact: I even had to push some students to start asking questions and to stop using the flowcharts, because they worked too well for them.
They could easily get numbers and dates without ever learning how texting works at it’s core, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to become self sufficient and not to rely on them forever.
If you want help with your profile, understand and learn conversation dynamics as well as turn around your entire dating life feel free to reach out.
Cheers,
Sandric