Let’s talk about something that most dating coaches won’t admit…
Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder, running your own business, or working a regular job, there’s an uncomfortable truth about online dating that affects all minority men:
Online Dating is actually way harder for non-White guys who want to attract White women.
The Raw Numbers Everyone Needs to Know
Think about this:
• The top 20% of men are getting 80% of the women
• The bottom 80% of men compete for the bottom 20% of women
But it goes even deeper than we think.
The Hidden Reality
Among us minorities in the western world, there is a 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 difference in how attractive we’re being perceived by White women.
Especially when it comes to Black and Asian men.
Having gotten this out of the way…
• Latinos are in a good position
• White guys are obviously heavily favored
Let’s Look at the Hard Data 📊
Many of the conducted data studies including that of OkCupid, a very popular dating platform, show that unfortunately this is true.
Key Finding: 45% of women that were asked, even admitted that they would strongly prefer to date a man from their own race.
In fact, almost all women preferred men of their own race, but they otherwise penalized both Asian and Black men.
The Numbers Through the Years
2009 Data:
🇯🇵 Asian: -12%
🇨🇲 Black: -6%
🇲🇽 Latino: +1%
🇩🇪 White: +17%
Think of them as how women weigh race in deciding attraction.
So for example, in 2009 White women thought that White men were 17% more attractive than the average guy.
2014 Evolution:
🇯🇵 Asian: -12%
🇨🇲 Black: -8%
🇲🇽 Latino: +1%
🇩🇪 White: +19%
Projected 2025 Reality
Having worked with a ton of minority students over the years as well as looking at the trends from 2009-2014…
I can easily assume that now in 2025 the numbers are something similar to this, because 11 years have already passed:
🇯🇵 Asian: -19%
🇨🇲 Black: -15%
🇲🇽 Latino: +5%
🇩🇪 White: +25%
But even if the trend didn’t decrease for Asians, it still puts them at a serious disadvantage together with the Black guys.
Your Crossroads Moment
Now from my own experience as part of a minority in a predominantly White country, those studies and numbers show that in order to get the same results or similar ones as a White guy, you have two options:
❌ Option 1 – The Victim Route
• Swallow the black pill
• Use it as an excuse
• See yourself as a victim
• Stay forever alone
✅ Option 2 – The Winner’s Path
• Reject any pills
• Put in 3 times as much work as a White guy would have to
• Get great results within the subset of women that absolutely loves your race
I think you’ll agree with me, that option 1 would be insanely stupid.
The Truth About Dating App Success
Look, here’s the thing…
99% of men on Online Dating apps heavily shoot themselves in the foot 🏹
They do this by:
• Having bad pictures
• Writing horrible bios
• Making crucial mistakes during texting
I would even go so far as to say that every male profile has at least one picture that’s a red flag and lowers their perceived attractiveness in the eyes of women.
Critical Insight: Women first judge you based on your worst picture.
The Psychology Behind Profile Success 🧠
But don’t worry if you’re making this mistake yourself.
It’s not your fault, we men are just extremely bad at choosing our own best pictures.
This is mainly because we use different areas of our brain when we look at our own pictures than when we look at someone else’s.
However, insecurities play into that as well.
Example:
Let’s pretend for a second that you thought you had a big nose that you were insecure about…
Now you’ve got an amazing portrait picture and you wouldn’t use it for your Online dating profile, because you think your big nose stands out too much there.
But women who have no idea of your insecurity could have found that picture extremely attractive and hot 🔥
Yet you didn’t use it, because it’s impossible to be objective with yourself.
The Profile Picture Truth
Also, It doesn’t really matter if you have 4 amazing pictures in your profile.
If the 5th one is less amazing, that’s how women will perceive you.
They’ll simply assume that the rest were just your lucky shots and the 5th is what you actually look like.
It’s literally as if you tried to play soccer with an invisible 20kg chain tied to your leg ⚽⛓
The Bigger Picture
The sad thing is, this doesn’t just apply to Online Dating as you’ve probably already noticed in your own life.
There are many situations that might not be explicitly romantic, but are nonetheless a lot like a first date:
• Job interviews
• Trying to rent an apartment
• When you meet your freshman roommates
• Anytime you’re trying to make an impression on a stranger
Science has long known that bonuses accrue to beautiful people:
They have better outcomes at work or school, more success with juries, even live longer lives, and so on.
Important Reality Check
In short, “beautiful people” receive a lot of the same built-in benefits in our society that white people do.
I think that’s no coincidence, as White people are literally in power in the western world.
Also, Beauty is a cultural idea as much as a physical one, and the standard is of course set by the dominant western culture which is White.
To finish off, with everything that I mentioned I certainly don’t want to imply that White women are racist.
This bias is based on:
• Evolutionary reasons
• Personal taste
• Upbringing
• Media influence
Almost everyone has a “type”, one way or another.
The Bottom Line
However, I really hope what I explained previously about Online Dating gives all of you who belong to a minority hope.
Like me, you’re not doomed to stay forever alone, just because you weren’t born White in a western country.
It’s always within your control:
• How you present yourself
• How you come across in Online Dating
• How you text women
Remember: Nothing in life is worth having or doing unless it means effort, pain or difficulty… It personally took me 6 years of trial and error to start getting great results in Online Dating. But with the right mindset and strategy, you can get there much faster than I did.
Cheers,
Sandric