There are a lot of books about dating or self development out there and most are a huge waste of time..
They just teach you some weird PUA bullshit techniques or tell you that you need to put on a mask because women are attracted to a certain type of man.
So instead of teaching me how to become the best version of myself, they just taught me how to pretend that I’m someone else.
Today I want to introduce you to one gem that in my opinion every man on this planet earth should read.
This book has significantly impacted my life and changed the entire way I behaved and saw interactions with women or people in general.
𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹𝘀 – 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘆
As you know I’m a big believer in honesty and authenticity, but it hasn’t always been that way.
In the past when interacting with women or life in general I was often inauthentic.
Trying to use techniques or pretending to be someone I’m not.
I thought women wouldn’t like me for who I am.
This led to me putting on a mask when talking to women.
So if a woman rejected me they never rejected the “real me“, I could always blame it on the mask and it didn’t hurt as much.
I know it might sound stupid to some, but humans are willing to do a lot to avoid pain.
Only once I read “Models“ for the first time, it opened up my eyes to how much easier life could be if we were radically honest and authentic.
Since then I’ve read the English and German versions multiple times as well as listened to the audiobook on Audible.
The book talks about how vulnerability is actually a strength instead of a weakness.
In society we’ve been taught certain gender roles.
Men need to be “alpha“ and shouldn’t show any sign of weakness.
Only women are “allowed“ to be more emotional.
But that’s a huge misconception and definitely not true.
Mark Manson was the first and only person to teach me how to express myself in an honest way with women.
To say exactly what I think or feel at any moment (even though it might be extremely hard).
Expressing my thoughts unfiltered, while still being socially intuitive.
To be honest, at first I thought that advice was bullshit.
Why would a woman care about how I feel?
Why would she care about my goals and my dreams?
Shouldn’t men always be the “alpha“ rock and not express any emotions?
Why would I share my insecurities with a woman I’m attracted to?
Wouldn’t that make her think I’m a weak man or maybe even crybaby?
I was totally confused, because his advice was the complete opposite of everything else that I watched or read about women up to this point.
I thought I always had to be (or pretend to be) the self amused alpha man that doesn’t give a f*ck about anything.
But since nothing I had tried so far really worked out for me, I decided to just be open minded and follow everything he outlines in his book.
After initial problems to really open myself up and be vulnerable, to my surprise it worked like a charm.
Women didn’t see me as a low value whiny crybaby, but instead saw me as a high value man.
I was one of the only men (or should I say people?) they were able to connect with because I was REAL.
This realisation was so mind blowing that from there on I started to really live by his methods.
Women suddenly rarely ghosted me anymore and weren’t hesitant to come back to my place either.
But the best part was that I didn’t need to hold back on anything that I felt anymore, because “women might not like or be attracted to it“.
This freedom of expression is indescribable.
Of course I also recommended the book to all of my friends who were “PUA’s“ following the inauthentic methods I used to follow.
And as I expected, it worked much better for them too.
There’s one passage in particular from the book that really opened my eyes and blew my mind.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔.
𝑴𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔, 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒂.
𝑾𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒙𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒓 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉.
𝑰𝒇 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔, “𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒕 6 𝑷𝑴”, 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚..
𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔.
𝑺𝒖𝒓𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒂𝒚 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉..
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔, 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒓, 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈, “𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆”, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆.
𝑺𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.
After reading this part of the book, I finally understood women.
Now all of this can also be applied when it comes to Online Dating.
Men always think it’s what’s in the pictures that matters.
But in reality it’s what’s underneath or behind the pictures.
Your sub communications, body language, the general vibe of the picture, how relaxed you seem, etc.
Women care about the emotions that your pictures evoke in them and the story your profile paints.
Much more than about how badass and cool you look wearing those sunglasses or how defined your abs are.
They want to know who you are as a person and what going on a date with you would be like.
And definitely not that you drive an expensive car, have traveled to 20+ countries, speak 5 languages and built 2 companies while riding a unicycle.
To finish it off, if there is only one book about dating that I recommend you to read it’s “Models – attract women through honesty“ by
Mark Manson.
Just read it and thank me later.
Cheers,
Sandric